No... I Didn't Fall Off the Face of This Earth

Forgive me! I actually thought that when I started this blog, I would actually use it! You seriously have no idea how often I think of things to write in this lovely blog of mine. I think of things at least once a day. Its actually quite ridiculous how often I think of things and yet, somehow, I NEVER post! I will do better, I promise! I'm quite sure the reason for lack of blogging is because it is not something I ever got the hang of, and not something that was truly a "part of my schedule". I am taking a facebook fast for a week just to get away from it all... Goodness gracious, that place is ADDICTING!

Right now, I'm listening to a song called While I'm Waiting, by John Waller. It is insane how much I love this song, but it is SO true to my life right now! My little heart literally cringes in longing and yearning for the Lord when I hear the words! Here's the lyrics so you can see what I'm talking about!

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race 

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

 Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

If you heard it, you would probably recognize it from Fireproof. That movie in incredible and truly a favorite of mine, but thats a whole different post! Back to the song, I just love that it is a reminder that when my life seems like nothing is progressing, my sin is unfailing and I can't seem to control it, I see my loved ones sin and I just seem them falling deeper and deeper into what I know is wrong, I can just serve my God the best way I know how and worship Him like the mighty, saving, merciful, portion of mine that He is! I could lie flat on my face in tears when I hear this song. Life is HARD, but my Father is here with me, and I say that with the biggest, sweet, thankful smile on my face! When I feel like everything in the world is crashing down on me like it never ceases to do, I can know that I will move ahead, bold and confident, and obey because of the love I have for Jesus. 

It seems like when I wrote the first post to this blog, I was a baby! I guess it's not like I have really grown that much or gotten much older since my first post, but my tiny heart is exploding with love, and I don't know what to do! God has revealed himself to me, and I can not help but ball my eyes out in thinking of his mercy to me! I am so broken and frail, but my delightful, amazing, wonderful, beautiful Jesus has made me complete and I can't help but spend all the time I can with Him! This stuff that I'm talking about even makes me get lazy in doing my homework! I want to spend SO much time in the Word and in prayer to my Jesus, that I want to ignore my schooling! Then I realize that, in fact, God would want me to do the job he has given me for this time, and I cave in and go get it done. This stuff that I'm talking about drives me love others. This stuff is what makes me get up in the morning instead of drowning in self-pity. This stuff is what gets me out of my selfishness and sin. This stuff is what is inspiring me to go half-way across the world after high school and serve Jesus for a year of my life in another country! 

Yes, my Jesus has asked me to go across the ocean to serve Him! While I don't know where I will be going, I know it will be an incredible year (or two or three! Who knows?). I am not scared in the least bit, because I know God will take care of me. I have no desire to fret because of the difference of living in a brand-spanking new culture, with a language I might(very likely!) not know! I've even thought of possibly having to eat bugs and seafood(ew!), and I am completely fine with it! Even, in the worst of circumstances, life is hard and I end up surrendering my life for the sake of Christ, I am fully rested because I know I will go straight to being with the High King of Heaven. I already realize that year will be a HARD one emotionally and spiritually, but I'm ready for it because I know that I will get to know My Portion even more! I am thrilled! That is what this stuff does to me! Would I ever, ever want to go to another freaking country without Jesus? NO! This is what God has laid on my heart, to serve and love these people, whoever they may be, and I am able and willing. Lord, send me! I have been memorizing a verse a month, and for the month of January, I decided to memorize Genesis 12:1-2 because I want my name to be there as a replacement for Abram's. 

The Lord had said to Abram(or Loribeth :-D), "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

"I will make you into a great nation

and I will bless you;

I will make your name great,

and you will be a blessing."

Abram was so willing to just up and leave his precious hom for the God's glory, and thats exactly how I want to be! I have come to realize that the key reason the Lord blesses my sinful self is so I can bless others! I can show others the love my of my Christ by blessing them! That is so profound to me.

I think that shall be it for tonight. Maybe this time I will actually post somewhat consistently. I hope this blog world is a place of second chances! :-) I am in desperate need of them about every minute or so.