Work, Camping, and Owning your Junk

I guess work has been keeping me busy! It has been a week since I have updated! So far work has been coming along alright, even though I have pressed the panic button, forgot to give someone $8 of change, and doubled an order so there was a $30 order that never got paid for. Sigh. I sure hope they don't fire me. At least I'm the one who has made over $20 in tips(two nights in a row, I might add) compared to the other girl who made $3! They better be glad with split the tips between all of us. I have my issues with work(like all the sailor-like cussing...) I enjoy most of it. My manager(who unfortunately is one of the cursers) is really nice, treats us like family, and genuinely cares about us. I mean, seriously, this guy told us to make sure we don't steal or anything, but if we need money or whatever just come to him and we can figure something out but don't think about just taking it cause "you'll get your a** whooped and my mean side will come out. This is the nice me right here, and you don't want to see my other side". I know he doesn't sound too nice, but he really is. You can't really tell unless you see him for yourself(and you could see me at the same time!). Enough about that.

Tomorrow Jaclyn, Julianna, Dad, and I will be leaving for the Father-Daughter Retreat with our church. Dad(and all of us who have been sucked into it) has been the main coordinator/planner, and he is so detail-oriented I hope us girls get to spend at least two minutes with him! We shall see... The main thing I'm worried about is the music my sisters and I are supposed to do. They haven't even told me what songs we're singing, so I hope I can play them! Deep breath, Loribeth, deep breath. This has been one frustration of my week. Lord, calm this anger raging in my heart. Well... it should be good. Pray for it all if you feel called. We appreciate prayers on our behalf. 

A friend of mine tagged me in a note on Facebook, and it brought a few things to the front of my mind. I just remembered how important it is to own your mistakes, heartbreaks, sins, scars, memories, and sad circumstances. You can't just try to tuck it away, because it will always be there and eat away at who you are and how you relate to people(and to God).  You have to take those things, thoroughly examine them, and call them your own... I don't mean you should brag or be prideful about sin or bad things, but just take them and say "Yes, this horrible thing occurred in my life, BUT My God has redeemed/saved/restored me through it!" If you don't own it and let God use it, then Satan will! We do not want Satan taking a hold of it, because all he will do is ruin it and make it be in vain. If we're going to go through all that junk, don't we want God to be able to use it?! I don't want to go through all of that pain, grief, and searching just to let me be in vain. It has gotten to the point where I'm protective about all of it! I would just be appalled if Satan got it! There is so much excruciating pain I've had to go through(and still do deal with) with my brother Stephen's death, and there is no way I want to let Satan use it! I want to just let God get all over it just so the Devil can't! God has given/allowed some things to bring Him the greatest glory and bring me ever closer to Him, and I don't want to waste it all because of my lack to deal with it! I can't stress how MUCH pain and hurt that I want God to use! To Him be the glory! Amen!