Thursday, February 19, 2009

Well... yet again I am lagging in my blogging. Maybe I'll get it right someday. Right now I am watching the beloved, cheesy, dangerous movie High School Musical 3. Let me set the record straight: I very much dislike HSM. It is way too popular for it's own good(as well as the Jonas Bros, but thats a whole different post), and the cheesiest in the nation, but I have to admit the romantic parts make me giddy. It is so incredibly bad for my little heart, but an occasional one won't hurt, right?  

Today I had an episode that was quite odd. I was in the shower(sorry for the visual) and fainted/blacked out twice. I seriously thought I was going to die... pretty scary. My poor mother was so concerned, and once we got to the doctor, we discovered that I am anemic. I also have this thing(I forgot what it's called) where my blood pressure is lower when I stand up rather than sit or lay down. That's no huge deal, but I just have to watch it closely. I am now taking iron, and hopefully that will fix it, but I need to keep an eye out. The doctor is having me get an EKG and a lung x-ray or something, just to make sure all is well. I am SO thankful to the Lord today for taking care of me when all this happened! I could have easily bumped my head on something and seriously gotten hurt! My God is incredible and my Savior!

I am off to Dive/Live Love with the high school group at church. It is always incredible every year, and I'll tell you all about it. For now, I need to get in the car! Pray for all of us!

Friday, February 13, 2009

For No Reason At All...

Here I am again! My theory on blogging is that if, at first, I blog every day(or close to it), then I'll get in the hang of it, and eventually get to where I am blogging in the normal amount range, but not ridiculously too much or too little. Don't worry, this blogging every day thing won't last long, but it will help me realize that it is an option of something for me to do. While I'm at it, why don't I write(or type... whatever) what my goal is for this silly thing. I'm not really in it for the social atkmosphere as much as I am for the writing. I honestly don't care that much about having "followers" or anyone who reads this. I just want to talk to myself(I know.. I'm a weirdo) and just talk about random stuff that most people just honestly don't care to hear about. :-D I could seriously talk all day long, but I'll spare all my friends and family when it's just rambling, and just type here. I also just want to write my poems, songs, and stories in here. My goal is to put prayers and such in here so that way I can look back at it and just see what my God has done! I know that he answers prayers, but sometimes it takes so long that my easily sidetracked brain can't handle it. Haha. Just to let everyone(ha! well... let myself know) that I'm not going to put anything on here that I wouldn't want other people to see. By writing all that stuff above, I'm not trying to drive you away, I promise! I'm just not going to be obsessed about it, and if I have followers and friends than great, but I'm not gonna flip out over it either way.

Well... here goes my day. I did absolutely no homework today! Fun, but now I get to catch it all up next week. Ugh. Today my youngest sis and little bro had a homeschool science class at the Science Museum, and my mom was signed up as a chaperone. I decided to tag along and go see Body Worlds 2! When the first one came I really wanted to see it, but since my mom wasn't a big fan of seeing real people I didn't get to go. It was really good, and I'm glad I went, especially since I got to get in for $7.50 instead of the freaking $21 normal ticket price! At times I was a little sick to my stomach thinking that those things are real people, but all in all I was fascinated by God's handiwork! What an amazing masterpiece we are! I am literally in awe. Later after a couple things I was supposed to do were cancelled, I decided to take Michael out for a mini "together day" and get ice cream. Together days are our special thing, but I'll write about them another time. Well, we went to get ice cream at TCBY, then headed to the park to eat our ice cream and talk for a little bit. I love those times with him! That is all that is exciting (or not so exciting) about my day. Right now I am babysitting(which you will see I do quite often), and the kiddos are all in bed. Oddly enough, the parents I'm babysitting for went to go see Body Worlds tonight. I guess I'm off. I'm getting tired, and I think the parents will be home pretty soon so it will be my bedtime! :-D

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

No... I Didn't Fall Off the Face of This Earth

Forgive me! I actually thought that when I started this blog, I would actually use it! You seriously have no idea how often I think of things to write in this lovely blog of mine. I think of things at least once a day. Its actually quite ridiculous how often I think of things and yet, somehow, I NEVER post! I will do better, I promise! I'm quite sure the reason for lack of blogging is because it is not something I ever got the hang of, and not something that was truly a "part of my schedule". I am taking a facebook fast for a week just to get away from it all... Goodness gracious, that place is ADDICTING!

Right now, I'm listening to a song called While I'm Waiting, by John Waller. It is insane how much I love this song, but it is SO true to my life right now! My little heart literally cringes in longing and yearning for the Lord when I hear the words! Here's the lyrics so you can see what I'm talking about!

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race 
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
 Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

If you heard it, you would probably recognize it from Fireproof. That movie in incredible and truly a favorite of mine, but thats a whole different post! Back to the song, I just love that it is a reminder that when my life seems like nothing is progressing, my sin is unfailing and I can't seem to control it, I see my loved ones sin and I just seem them falling deeper and deeper into what I know is wrong, I can just serve my God the best way I know how and worship Him like the mighty, saving, merciful, portion of mine that He is! I could lie flat on my face in tears when I hear this song. Life is HARD, but my Father is here with me, and I say that with the biggest, sweet, thankful smile on my face! When I feel like everything in the world is crashing down on me like it never ceases to do, I can know that I will move ahead, bold and confident, and obey because of the love I have for Jesus. 

It seems like when I wrote the first post to this blog, I was a baby! I guess it's not like I have really grown that much or gotten much older since my first post, but my tiny heart is exploding with love, and I don't know what to do! God has revealed himself to me, and I can not help but ball my eyes out in thinking of his mercy to me! I am so broken and frail, but my delightful, amazing, wonderful, beautiful Jesus has made me complete and I can't help but spend all the time I can with Him! This stuff that I'm talking about even makes me get lazy in doing my homework! I want to spend SO much time in the Word and in prayer to my Jesus, that I want to ignore my schooling! Then I realize that, in fact, God would want me to do the job he has given me for this time, and I cave in and go get it done. This stuff that I'm talking about drives me love others. This stuff is what makes me get up in the morning instead of drowning in self-pity. This stuff is what gets me out of my selfishness and sin. This stuff is what is inspiring me to go half-way across the world after high school and serve Jesus for a year of my life in another country! 

Yes, my Jesus has asked me to go across the ocean to serve Him! While I don't know where I will be going, I know it will be an incredible year (or two or three! Who knows?). I am not scared in the least bit, because I know God will take care of me. I have no desire to fret because of the difference of living in a brand-spanking new culture, with a language I might(very likely!) not know! I've even thought of possibly having to eat bugs and seafood(ew!), and I am completely fine with it! Even, in the worst of circumstances, life is hard and I end up surrendering my life for the sake of Christ, I am fully rested because I know I will go straight to being with the High King of Heaven. I already realize that year will be a HARD one emotionally and spiritually, but I'm ready for it because I know that I will get to know My Portion even more! I am thrilled! That is what this stuff does to me! Would I ever, ever want to go to another freaking country without Jesus? NO! This is what God has laid on my heart, to serve and love these people, whoever they may be, and I am able and willing. Lord, send me! I have been memorizing a verse a month, and for the month of January, I decided to memorize Genesis 12:1-2 because I want my name to be there as a replacement for Abram's. 

The Lord had said to Abram(or Loribeth :-D), "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

"I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing."

Abram was so willing to just up and leave his precious hom for the God's glory, and thats exactly how I want to be! I have come to realize that the key reason the Lord blesses my sinful self is so I can bless others! I can show others the love my of my Christ by blessing them! That is so profound to me.

I think that shall be it for tonight. Maybe this time I will actually post somewhat consistently. I hope this blog world is a place of second chances! :-) I am in desperate need of them about every minute or so.
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