Friday, April 24, 2009

My Ramblings... (What else would you expect?)

Goodness gracious! It has been too long since I've updated! I'm afraid its only going to be random things written numerically. What happens is that I'll miss one day (or one thing that happened) and then after a while it just gets to be too much, but I still want to write about the thing that I originally wanted to write! Whatever, this is so pointless and confusing, and here I go... rambling. I guess it fits the name of the blog!

1. Two weeks ago today, there was a baptism service for our youth group at a students' home. We used their pool for the baptisms, and 7 people got baptized! It was a special time\I just love baptism. People getting baptized, the idea and reasoning behind baptism, the whole shebang... I love it. I'm excited to know that I can walk this ever-so-important walk with them, and now I know they are game.

2. It's over. I quit my job. You think I'm probably kidding, but I kid you not. I have loved the opportunity, and the pros of it(like wonderful hospitality... ridiculous closeness to my house), but thats not what I will be doing when May 6th rolls around. I gave my two week notice, and I'm done next week. I'm doing another list:
               a. There was simply just horrible cussing(my boss cussing at me... co-workers), which I know I can handle and isn't abnormal but I just don't want to put up with it and make myself struggle if I don't have to! Also, my dad has a lot of experience in retail/food industry, and he said a manager shouldn't be cussing(and there shouldn't be very much cussing in the workplace at all) but its not against the law or anything, but just courtesy.
               b. Another thing I was/am frustrated about is the schedule. This week, I freaking didn't get my schedule until today. Monday night my manager told me I was working this morning, but the rest I found out today when I look at the official, on paper schedule! Thats just plain nuts! My whole life doesn't revolve around this job, and its not good business-running to do that. 
               c. There's a really mean cook there who works at night, and I feel very threatened by him. EVERY time I see him, he make some snide(but serious) remark about me being "professional" and "doing my job". I was there one night, and wasn't even on duty(!), but he was yelling at me and made me cry(although I just left and didn't let them see me cry, but cried in my car)! He just makes me so upset and I don't want to work in that environment! 
               d. I'm just not proud of working there. Their food(especially at first) would take 20 minutes to get out the window, just for a chopped beef sandwich! I don't even want people to go in and see me because it's unpredictable how the service/food will be! It all depends on who's working. Also, it's a barbeque place, and we have 4 sauces(original, smokey, pineapple, and jalapeno), but we only give out 3! We've been out of original sauce for a few weeks now. They have a warehouse where they keep a lot of sauces, but there was none left and they had to order some from the people who actually make it. They shouldn't have even opened! About a week or two after we opened they realized it. They should've known they needed to order more before they opened. There's just no excuse. The thing is... I have to be the one to tell all the customers cause I'm a cashier! The managers and the owners don't care that we don't have the original sauce cause they don't have to deal with the customers! 
               e. I am going to be gone for a lot of the summer(working at camps and such) and knew they would need to hire someone else anyways. Well, I'd be going if they'd let me off.  
               f. (One more thing... I promise:-)) I applied and got the job as a cashier. I didn't know what the responsibilities were because this restaurant isn't a chain, and this is their first-ever place. I figured I'd be possibly taking food out to people, (obviously) taking orders, and keeping the front counter dry. I was thinking I'd possibly have to keep the drink/condiment counter clean/stocked as well, but I didn't think I'd be doing bussing! After I was hired they got some bus boys, but the thing is that the bus boys decided they wanted to cashier instead of bus, so now we're all cashiers and bus boys! I mean, its not that insane to have a cashier doing bussing, but it's not what was supposed to happen. Even though I didn't have specific job duties, I knew they were getting bus boys, and I didn't expect to bus. Now.... there are tons of plusses to this job, don't get me wrong.  I love how hospitable my manager is. He has no problem if we're late(as long as we let him know), told us at the beginning not to be shady about taking money but if there was a problem then to just come talk to him and he'd give us money/loan us money... just don't take it, offered to give anyone rides at times if they need it, and is generally grateful for people. I love him, but they just don't run a business well. That's it. I'm done with this topic. 
3. After all that, I'm going to apply to work at Chick-fil-a tomorrow. My friend works there, said she could get me a job. I figured it would make more sense to apply after summer's over, but she said she knew they would let me off after only working a month and  hopefully I can drag in a little money. I'm really excited. See... I wanted to work at Chick-fil-a before I even started working at Bobbie Que's, and I applied there at least twice, but they never hired me cause it didn't ever work out. This time, though, I'm hoping everything will work. I know I'll like it a lot more than Bobbie Que's. 
4. I've been amazed at how fast this year has gone by! I am going to be Senior... yes... a SENIOR in just about a month or so. Are you freaking serious?! Holy crap! Every time I think about it I just get a daze. It's exhilarating to me, but scary. Well, not scary, just makes me anxious. I don't know. It's just the weirdest thing in the world that this time next year I'll be getting ready to graduate and leave to go overseas. Woah.

5. JJ's message this past Sunday was incredible. I just hope this catches on and we can (God can) start a movement in our youth group because of all he said. Slightly off topic, I appreciate his honesty with us. I think pastors tend to get stuck in the thought pattern that everyone thinks they are perfect, and they have to live up to that so they can't be real. Personally, I think we don't want/expect pastors and leaders to feel that way, but somehow they think it. I think what the congregation wants is for them to be vulnerable, just like they expect us to be. 

Well... I'm plum tired of typing. I'f you've even made is this far, I know you know why my hands are tired! Thank you for letting me write all this. I know if I didn't do this lot-of-posts-in-one I would never get around to say the things I want to! I'm going to go crash in bed. Hopefully next time I won't wait so long so the posts aren't as freakishly long. Oh! I forgot to write about the dance!.... tomorrow will come...

Much Love,



(what do you think of the signature? I don't know. Eh.)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I Will Rise

Happy Easter! I've realized, just last night, that the devil has been trying to take my entire week! This past week was meant to reflect on my Savior, His death, and resurrection, and it's been one of the worst weeks for me, emotionally at least. I started off the week great, and nothing has really happened that is different than normal, but Satan has been tempting me to focus on my faults, sins, and frustrations instead of putting my eyes on Him. Unfortunately, he almost got away with it, but I wouldn't let him do it. No way, Jose!

I absolutely love Easter. Easter is such a happy holiday, and it is truly a favorite of mine. I love everything Spring, pastel colors, and sadly, candy(Creme eggs?! Oh my). I love the tradition of going to Mamo's(my dad's mom) to get together with the extended family. I love hunting for Easter eggs. I love dyeing eggs. I love singing "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" and "My Redeemer Lives"(even though we didn't do either today... sad day). I love to reflect on what God has done to/through my life, and praise Him for it. I love realizing all over again just HOW MUCH my Christ loves me, and the fact that He lives! But every single year, without fail, the week before Easter is tough. Satan is just tempting me in all ways, and won't let down. I have to try SO hard to concentrate and flee from temptation. 

Easter is also hard just because its a holiday. On major holidays, everything is pretty much cancelled and it's family time. Family time is not good when you've lost part of it. People go to church as a family on holidays as well, especially since all children's programs are cancelled, but for people who have lost someone find those times hard. For my family at least, we can do all the healing and be fine during the whole year, but when the holidays come, it just gets hard! I don't like sitting as a family on Easter Sunday or Christmas Eve just because it's the biggest reminder that my lovely brother is no longer with us. No, I haven't been in denial the past 2 1/2 years or anything, but that's when it hits the hardest. When we go out to lunch as a family and he's not there, it's alright. I miss sometimes too, or my sisters will go out with their friends instead and it's normal, but at holidays, esp. for church, is when EVERYONE is there. No family member misses, and I think that's why it's the hardest. No words can express how much I miss him. There will be a day, and it will be glorious. I am so grateful for a God who has saved me, but I'm also just as grateful for a God who saved Stephen. It is so challenging just to live my everyday life without Stephen, but I can do it and have joy and hope because He Lives and has extended the life He gives to my little self. It's alright, I'll make it, I'll turn tragedy to triumph. Today we sang a song in church that I absolutely adore. It's called "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin and is pretty much my lifesong. 

I Will Rise
By: Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He has risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise 

And I hear the voice of many angles sing
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart
"Worthy is the Lamb" 

I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees 
And rise
I will rise

I just love that song so much. It's wonderful to know that some day I will leave this hurting, painful, sinful, sick earth and go to be glorious with Christ. As an  added bonus, Stephen will be there too. I just honestly can't wait. Another way I interpret this song is as an encouragement for my life here on earth. I can rise up against my fears, faults, and tragedies to follow Him! I am not bound by what I have done or circumstances around me, but I can be free to serve my King. I WILL rise, and I don't have to stay in my pity, grieving, depressed self. God will rescue me and give me hope if I let him. I can rest in that, and I do. Thank you is not enough.

Here's a video of Chris talking about what led him to write the song. It seems like he wrote it just so I can praise my God and be encouraged. You can hear the actual song in the background. I am blessed to have hope. I will rise.


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Weekend Recap/Off to Work

This weekend was such a blessing. Yes, it's hard to keep your cool when things go wrong and your dad is in charge, but it went, and it was alright. The girls(as in... my two sisters) and I led in worship(and some silly songs) and we just did it. All three of us tend to let our nerves get in the way, but we did it and didn't let our feelings get in the way. I didn't get to spend very much time with my dad because he was working (the biggest downside to him doing it), but I'm glad the other girls got to spend time with their dads.

We also got to visit with the Ede family because they were working the retreat(Thank you for all the workers!). They are such all wonderful, and I enjoy every minute I am with them. My Ellen(she's 12) is my favorite person ever, and she is just loads of fun. Hopefully we'll get to see them soon!

Now I'm off to work. I need to get off this thing and get ready! Sheesh!
 
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